Answering your personal questions: Q&A-style (2020)

I’ve been active on Instagram since January 9th, 2018 and I’ve never done one of these. So I thought it was about time. In this blog post, I will attempt to answer every ‘personal’ question that people asked in my Instagram story question stickers. If your question is missing, comment it below!

I share so many aspects of my life with you, including highs and lows, and yet I think there are some basic (or personal) things that you might not know and have been wondering. If that’s the case, hopefully you’ll find your answer here!

The “Basics”

Some of the most basic questions that frequently came up, and some other personal ones that didn’t quite fit into another category.

• Name: My name is Alexa, hi!
• Age: 27
  • “Why are you so old?” Before starting medical school, I did a 4-year bachelor degree in biomedical engineering in NJ. It was then that I decided that I would rather be a doctor, because, as much as I liked BME, I didn’t feel like I was very good at it.
  • “As an American follower, I wish I knew more about your pre-Europe life.” Upon moving to the US when I was 8, I started 2nd grade, learned English and went on to attend a magnet school where I was in the engineering ‘academy.’ After that, I applied to a few colleges and got into an in-state one on more or less a full scholarship. I majored in biomedical engineering, joined a sorority, studied abroad and had a great time. In my junior year, I talked to a pre-med advisor and…well… more on my decision to go overseas can be found below!
• Nationality: I was born in Budapest, Hungary and moved to the US when I was 8. I am a national of both countries (woo!).
• What country do you study in? / Where do you live? I study (and live) in Budapest, the capital of Hungary.
• How do you pay for med school? Great question, and super important.
  • I attend the international program at my medical university, which costs money (many of the local students are funded by the state, so for them there are only minimal fees). My university costs $9,000 USD/semester, for a total of 12 semesters.
  • My parents didn’t want me to have to take out a loan, and I am lucky enough to have their full support. When I moved here, we bought an apartment, which we rent out – I use this money for my living costs, and it is more than enough. For tuition, my parents send money each semester. I am so incredibly lucky and grateful, and don’t even know how I can repay them.
• More about your parents and how they raised you as a foster kid?
  • Ah yes, fun fact: I was adopted! But the adoption was within our family, so I was raised by my elder half-sister and her husband in the US. My biological parents live(d) in Hungary, and we spoke during my 16 years abroad, but we reconnected a bit more when I moved back for medical school. I had a really wonderful childhood and young adulthood in the US, and I’m very grateful to them for giving me so many opportunities to study and learn English as fluently as I did. They think of me as a daughter, and they are my parents, through-and-through.
• How do you study during your periods? Ooh, interesting. I don’t have awful monthly periods, as some other girls do. So in general, I don’t struggle too much with studying during my periods, but if it gets to be too painful, I usually take the day/afternoon off and lie in bed, reading a book or binging on a TV show.
• Have you ever given into peer pressure and regretted it? Hm, I had to think about that one. Story time: I didn’t believe in underage drinking. Lots of my friends did it, and it was fine, but I myself didn’t want to partake in underage drinking (the drinking age in the US is 21) for a couple of reasons (that I won’t go into).
  • But one day, my best friend came to visit from Columbia University to spend the night, and she and my boyfriend-at-the-time kept teasing me about not drinking until I gave in. They were teasing me so much that I tried to match their drinking skills and quickly fell behind; that was one of two times in my life that I remember ‘blacking out.’ Definitely not one of my finest moments, and although I don’t regret it because it’s all part of a learning experience, I wish I’d been wiser.
• Do you have your own flat? My parents own a flat in the city that we rent out, and I live with my boyfriend in his flat.
• What do you do when you feel upset or down? I mope. I actually have these episodes of moping when I decide, “That’s it, I’m done,” and spend the rest of the day doing something that comforts me. This is usually comfort TV, sleeping, or something delicious that I’d been craving.
  • There are times, though, when I can’t afford to take the day off (these are rare): on those days, I ask myself, “What is one thing that would cheer you up?” The second something comes to mind, I know that I’ll do that thing, and once I do, I won’t allow myself to be sad anymore.

Relationships:

A lot of the questions were about life & love & medical school, so here goes!

• Single? Nope!
• Sexually active? Haha, yep!
• Balance love life and medical school: I actually have a blog post about this, one of my favorite pieces that I’ve written. Here is the link to ‘Dating in Med School: Should You Do It?” where I talk a bit about balancing dating.
  • Relationship and med: don’t you feel relationship distracts you? Quite the contrary: I think a relationship with the right person helps you work towards your goals, keeps you on track, and guides you when you feel lost/exhausted/done.
  • Living with bf, tips for studying instead of wasting time? We agreed on a routine, and we help each other stick to it – we sleep together, wake up together, eat together. We encourage each other to study during the study hours, and we relax together, which is a really nice reward.
  • How do you manage to study when you have a fight with your bf? Gosh, this is really tough. Fights used to be all-consuming, making it hard to focus. Now, though, there are bigger things at stake (USMLE Step 1 prep, for example), and we are becoming much more mature in ending a silly fight sooner, for the good of the study day. We try to make up sooner rather than later, and apologize earlier.
    • This was tough to do, but it’s helped us so much. It can be quite challenging to study during a fight, but one tip that always worked for me: leaving the house. I would go to a cafe to study, and things would calm down, and we could talk about them much more rationally later.
• Is your boyfriend also a doctor? He’s also a med student, yes! Doctor-to-be, he’s one year under me.
• Is your bf going to do residency in the US too? Hopefully! He’s preparing for the USMLE Step 1 right now (well, not right now, right now he’s reading a book by Cicero), and depending on his score, we’ll decide about attempting a Couples Match or not.
• How did you and your bf meet? Funny story (not actually): we met at the med school library. He’s quite a bit younger than me (4 years), and so at first I was really hesitant about pursuing a relationship. But the more we got to know each other, the more it became evident that age is just a number, and he’s actually better suited to me than anyone I could have ever imagined.
• Do you plan on having kids and getting married? Yes and yes! The kids, definitely. The wedding can wait – for me, it’s not that important, although it’s definitely not something I’m against. I’ve always wanted kids, at least 2, and my goal was, the sooner the better.
• When would you like to start a family? A medical career is hard to reconcile with a family, but it’s not impossible. I’d like to have my first child when I’m 30, 31… so quite soon. We shall see what happens!
• Do you plan to teach you kids both of you mother tongues? YES! Definitely, without a doubt. He speaks French and Hungarian, and I Hungarian (and am learning French). We hope the kiddos will speak both and English of course.
• What’s a good break up speech? Haha, let’s hope I won’t have to make one up. In the past though: the truth, with a little bit of sugarcoating so as not to unnecessarily the poor gal or lad.

Studies/career/specialization:

Quite a few questions about medicine: why, when, how, etc. Here goes!

• What else would you study [if not medicine]?: I’ve considered law, which has always interested me, but unfortunately I think the speed of the legal system would frustrate me to no end. Other than that, I also thought about doing criminology (criminal psychology), because as a teen I loved learning about it, but I’m not sure how much I would enjoy the day-to-day life of a career in that. And of course, engineering. But I just can’t imagine myself working for research and development at a biotech company, which was one of the many things that drove me to medicine instead.
• Do you have a previous degree? I do! I’m technically a biomedical engineer… hehe. I wouldn’t trust myself to engineer anything though. I had planned to go into research and development of limb prosthetics, but I found that I couldn’t imagine my life as an engineer.
• Were there any medical programs that you thought about applying to? Actually, no. Since I’m Hungarian, it made the most sense to just come home. To read a bit about why I applied to Europe, read below!
• Why did you choose to study medicine in Europe and not in America? another a multi-faceted answer. Scroll all the way to the bottom, where I highlighted this question! 🙂
• Have you decided which specialization you’re interested in? I think emergency medicine. I’ve never done EM in the USA, though, and EM in my country is a bit different. So before I make my final decision, I really want to experience what emergency medicine is like in the US. But I think that’s what it’ll be.
• What makes you interested in EM? I love the unpredictability of it, and the chaos. I love shift-work, meaning that you work x hour shifts y times a month, and when you’re off, you’re actually off. I like that I won’t have to work 9-5 on weekdays, every weekday, because it will allow me to switch shifts and be present for my children’s school functions, for example. And I like that the interactions with patients are valuable, but not necessarily long-term. [I can imagine myself getting very attached to patients if I were a family doctor, for example, and I think that would be really difficult for me to bear if something happened to them. That’s not to say that being an EM doctor is easy in any sense of the word, but it’s just that I believe my personality suits that a bit better.] I like the mix of theory knowledge and hands-on procedures (minor interventions), and of course, I like the adrenaline rush that comes with taking care of a critical patient.
• Are you absolutely sure about medicine? Did you ever fear that it wasn’t for you? Yes, I am absolutely sure. Once I decided I wanted to go to medical school, I knew that I was sure. I have this useful habit of being able to talk myself into nearly anything, and once I made the decision, my brain came up with a ton of different reasons why it made sense, why it would be good for me, etc. When I got to medical school, I really enjoyed it. Even on the tough days (because there were certainly tough days), I never once thought about quitting. It was tough, but I had the mentality, “This too shall pass,” and then I’d be a doctor.
• Strongest doubts you have in yourself? Great question. It’s about whether I can make it as an EM doctor. It’s very tough, and people tell me all the time that it’s ‘no place for a woman.’ Although I don’t believe them (nor care about what they think), I do wonder: am I good enough to be an emergency physician?
  • My other doubt: will I be a good mom?
• What’s your ambition, how to overcome laziness or addiction? I have this quote on my desk that reminds me of why I shouldn’t be lazy and helps me overcome that feeling of motivation. It says, “Study for the knowledge.” In medicine, I really do feel that we study so that one day, we can help our patients. I can’t imagine a more motivational thought than that.
  • P.S. That quote is here if you’d like to print it out and use it too!
  • Tips for being motivated can also be found here. These are a ton of the things that I do to get myself in the mood to study.
• Do you want to make USA your permanent residence, or work abroad after residency? No, not permanently, not necessarily. I love the US, and I’m hoping to do my residency there so I could work there at some point in the future. But I also love traveling and learning languages, and I’m open to moving around. I would love to work in New Zealand or a few other places, but it would be hard to move around with kids and a husband, so we shall have to see.
• Are you interested in working as a doctor in a country in Europe? I definitely would be! But my boyfriend, who spent all his life in Europe, is really itching to get away.
• Do you have fun in med school? YES! It’s really about the friends you make. We’ve had a lot of laughs, great study dates, and fun nights out. Awesome memories with incredible people.
• What’s the most important thing that you use in your studies? My laptop. My #1 study tool, and I don’t think med school is easy to do without a laptop. If you’re debating between an iPad and a laptop, check out my blog post discussing why I prefer laptops.

Account:

• Why did you start your Instagram? I was in the middle of exam period in my 3rd year of medical school when I stumbled across the concept of studygrams (I was tumbling around on Tumblr and discovered that one of my favorites, @studydiaryofamedstudent, had an Instagram). As I delved deeper into the world of studygram, I thought to myself: I could do this. And so I did. And it’s be so enjoyable and educational and overall phenomenal!
• Why did you start live streaming? I knew I’d be studying a lot last summer (preparing for the USMLE Step 1), and since none of my friends were taking the exam, I felt like I’d be lonely. I’d seen that some other people do this, and once the idea got into my head, I couldn’t shake it. It felt like it just made so much sense!
• How are you always so motivated? Not really sure, actually. I thought that lots of people are the same way – it comes pretty naturally to me. My mind is always running, filled with ideas of what I could be, should be, want to be doing. That definitely drives me.
  • But honestly, it’s not just about motivation. It’s mostly about discipline. Motivation certainly does help, and until I publish a blog post on discipline, you can check out my blog post on my top motivation tips!
• Do you make money with Instagram? Yes, I do. I make money in two main ways, which I can explain briefly: affiliate links and ads. “Affiliate” means that if someone purchases an item I recommended, I get a small percentage of that cost (4% on Amazon, for example, to 15% for some products). As for ads, I get money from automated ads on my YouTube and website. I also collaborate with some companies that pay me for a post on my feed, or my stories; these are always for products that I’ve tried, used and enjoyed or found helpful; for complete transparency, these are tagged with #ad, so you should be able to spot them.
  • I always do research on a product/item before accepting a partnership, and I try not to work with dropshipping companies, which I think are a huge ripoff. I have a highlight on my IG page where I explain that I would only ever recommend products that I think are genuinely useful, and I’ve turned down partnerships if I didn’t feel like they were valuable.

Why did you choose to study medicine?

The answer is multi-faceted, and it’s hard to pick just one reason. The corny answer: “to help people.” I think there’s no job more fulfilling than being with, and ideally helping, people in their time of need, and I think (hope) that I’d be good at it.

• I chose medicine for so many reasons, including (but not limited to) the following: [I liked] the idea of working with people, of making an impact on the world, the science and my fascination with the human body, the presumed job security, the prospect of life-long learning, the prestige, the thought of being there for people in their time of need, the thought that I would be able to take care of my family in ways that I don’t feel like I’ve been able to until now, the hope that I’ll be financially set once I’m settled… and so many more. Most of my life, I’ve been pretty average at things, never really finding “my place” in the world. But somehow, I felt like medicine will be something I’ll be good at. I’m not sure why, but that really enticed me, and I hoped (and still hope) that I’ll make not just a mediocre doctor, but a great one.

Why don’t you show your face?

A really good question, and one I’ve been wanting to answer for ages. I think that Rose, who runs the incredibly successful and lovely WaysToStudy IG/YouTube channel put it into words much better than I can in her “About” page on her website, linked here, but the gist of it is this:

• I want to be a doctor, working closely with patients, and I think it is important for those patients to be able to trust me and to take me seriously. I don’t think my future patients need know what time I woke up, what failures I overcame in med school, what my grades in anatomy were, or how many coffees a day I drink.
• Furthermore, I will be applying to residency in the United States, which is incredibly competitive, and although there are some program directors who might find my profile to be an interesting and useful part of my application, I think there would be those that would approach my application/interview with prejudice and judgement. The word ‘influencer’ has many negative connotations, and I would like to keep my application as professional as possible.
• I know there are those medical accounts who put their name, face and university to their account, and I think they’re amazing, and sometimes I wish I could be so self-confident and carefree, but right now, I’m not at that phase of my life yet. I think I can do what I do (motivate and inspire others) very well without showing my face (and I hope you agree!).

Why did you choose to study in Europe?

[Disclaimer: I was born in Europe, IN the country where I now attend med school. I hadn’t ever lived in capital city where I study now, and I was around 8 when I moved to the US.]

My decision was multifaceted. In no particular order, here goes:

• By the time I considered going to med school, I was already in my junior year of college studying biomedical engineering. When I went to our counselor, he said my grades were OK but not good enough for any top schools; he even suggested that I look at DO schools. A ton of research later, I knew I didn’t want to go to a D.O. school, so it would have to be a Caribbean med school or a very ‘new’ one in the US. Which would have been fine, if not for reason #2: the cost
• Med school in the US is really expensive. I didn’t want to take out tons of loans, and there was no way I could ask my parents to pay for it. I did some calculations and it seemed that most MD schools would cost around 200k just for room/board and tuition. That’s a lot of money (for reference, my uni is 20k/year, for 6 years instead of 4). For accommodation, we ended up buying a larger apartment in my med school city, and I rent out the rooms that are empty (since I moved in with my bf, oops). We’ll sell the apartment at the end of med school, so room/board will hopefully be covered by that.
• I studied abroad in Germany during my junior year and realized I LOVED Europe. I missed the essence of Europe, and life in Germany was so different than my college in NJ. Europeans are also quite different than Americans, it’s really hard to explain how. I realized I didn’t want to be stuck on a campus for another 4 years, much less a Caribbean island (another recommendation my teacher made). The city is my campus now and it’s honestly wonderful.
• I would have had to take ~1 year off to study for the MCAT and apply to med school, and I figured I’d rather spend that time getting started on my degree. Acceptance to the international programs in Eastern Europe are often not that difficult, but the first two years are quite tough, and lots of people fail or have to repeat years. But this allowed me to go straight from graduating from college in May to starting med school in September just by sending in my application and my BME diploma.
• Europe is so much easier to travel across… we didn’t have much time in the first two years, but now we’re really trying to take advantage of breaks to enjoy short trips. I love living in Europe and being close to so many countries and cultures (I even traveled to Morocco with my boyfriend’s family one spring break, which I definitely wouldn’t have done from the US!).
• And finally: I still have family in Europe; it made sense to move back and reconnect with my heritage and get to know some of the family. I’ve also improved my Hungarian a lot (or so I think), and was able to spend time with family before they passed away.

Phew, that was a long one! Let me know if you had a personal question I missed by commenting below, and I’ll update the blog post. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope it answered your question(s)!

Photo credits: by Florian Klauer on Unsplash